And apparently male tutors

Overheard in Madison — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 07:31:14 +0000

Blonde female undergrad (to 30-something year old male tutor): I hate Oprah. She’s just money hungry. And come on, like I care about her battle with weight loss, ugh.

Tutor: But her struggles are totally relatable to millions of women in America.

Undergrad: So. Fat people can suck it.

Coffeebytes

Overheard by oy vey

Beggars CAN be choosers

Overheard in Madison — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 07:24:43 +0000

Homeless man #1: I didn’t ask for no tofurkey.

Homeless man #2: Yeah, can’t beat good, fresh turkey.

State Street

Overheard by santa

Someone has been watching too much Law & Order

Overheard in Madison — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 21:18:36 +0000

Kid: Dad, can I have some quarters for a drink?

Dad: No, I want to save the rest of my quarters for a pack of cigarettes and a six pack.

Kid: You’re a heinous person.

Dad: (No response.)

Wash Basket Laundromat.

Overheard by Disgusted but slightly amused girl.

This is why elevator conversation is a no-no

Overheard in Madison — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 21:16:14 +0000

Guy in hoodie to two guys carrying 24 pack of beer (after entering elevator with friends): You guys just curling up together with a movie tonight and drinking some beers?

Guy #1 carrying beer: No….

Guy in hoodie: Horton Hears a Who maybe?

Guy #2 carrying beer: No… (elevator stops and they get off)

Guy in hoodie (to friends): It’s always good to be polite to people with booze.

Lucky elevator

Overheard by horton

Burn

Overheard in Madison — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 21:52:35 +0000

Student (to professor writing furiously and magically skipping steps without explaining them): Could you go back, I was still catching up from the last part so I don’t understand what you just did.

Professor: Well that’s your problem isn’t it.

Van Vleck, Math 319 Lecture

Overheard by GeeThanksForTheHelp

It’s like peer pressure, but better

Overheard in Madison — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 21:44:45 +0000

Homeless Man: You see, I’ve been sniffing and…

Guy at ATM: Dude, for the last time, FUCK OFF, I DON’T WANT ANY OF YOUR COKE.

State Street

Overheard by Burger Eatin Guy

Gotta grow up fast to make it in Madison

Overheard in Madison — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 05:49:27 +0000

Five-year-old girl (to adult companion): … And then grandpa got her out of jail.

Langdon Street

Overheard by Lola

The only hipster in Madison not dressing up as a Wild Thing

Overheard in Madison — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 05:46:52 +0000

Hipster: Hey, what are you going as for halloween?

Barista: Frederick Douglas.

Hipster: Oh, I’m reading Frederick Douglas right now.

Barista: Oh yeah, he’s awesome, he’s one of my favorite role models.

Espresso Royale

Overheard by a couple white hipsters

And how long did it take you to realize that?

Overheard in Madison — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 03:46:53 +0000

Guy running to other runner (in the pouring rain): YOU SAID IT WAS FINE OUTSIDE. IT IS NOT FINE!

Outside Science Hall

Overheard by rain on my parade

Kinda like the Eiffel Tower

Overheard in Madison — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 22:06:16 +0000

Woman: I used to think that was a guy.

Man: The Taj Mahal?

Buck’s, Regent St

Overheard by Alisa