And apparently male tutors
Blonde female undergrad (to 30-something year old male tutor): I hate Oprah. She’s just money hungry. And come on, like I care about her battle with weight loss, ugh.
Tutor: But her struggles are totally relatable to millions of women in America.
Undergrad: So. Fat people can suck it.
Coffeebytes
Overheard by oy vey
Beggars CAN be choosers
Homeless man #1: I didn’t ask for no tofurkey.
Homeless man #2: Yeah, can’t beat good, fresh turkey.
State Street
Overheard by santa
Someone has been watching too much Law & Order
Kid: Dad, can I have some quarters for a drink?
Dad: No, I want to save the rest of my quarters for a pack of cigarettes and a six pack.
Kid: You’re a heinous person.
Dad: (No response.)
Wash Basket Laundromat.
Overheard by Disgusted but slightly amused girl.
This is why elevator conversation is a no-no
Guy in hoodie to two guys carrying 24 pack of beer (after entering elevator with friends): You guys just curling up together with a movie tonight and drinking some beers?
Guy #1 carrying beer: No….
Guy in hoodie: Horton Hears a Who maybe?
Guy #2 carrying beer: No… (elevator stops and they get off)
Guy in hoodie (to friends): It’s always good to be polite to people with booze.
Lucky elevator
Overheard by horton
Burn
Student (to professor writing furiously and magically skipping steps without explaining them): Could you go back, I was still catching up from the last part so I don’t understand what you just did.
Professor: Well that’s your problem isn’t it.
Van Vleck, Math 319 Lecture
Overheard by GeeThanksForTheHelp
It’s like peer pressure, but better
Homeless Man: You see, I’ve been sniffing and…
Guy at ATM: Dude, for the last time, FUCK OFF, I DON’T WANT ANY OF YOUR COKE.
State Street
Overheard by Burger Eatin Guy
Gotta grow up fast to make it in Madison
Five-year-old girl (to adult companion): … And then grandpa got her out of jail.
Langdon Street
Overheard by Lola
And how long did it take you to realize that?
Guy running to other runner (in the pouring rain): YOU SAID IT WAS FINE OUTSIDE. IT IS NOT FINE!
Outside Science Hall
Overheard by rain on my parade
Kinda like the Eiffel Tower
Woman: I used to think that was a guy.
Man: The Taj Mahal?
Buck’s, Regent St
Overheard by Alisa
